Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Linnocent Open Post: LL is the Nelson Mandela of crackheads

Linnocent Open Post: LL is the Nelson Mandela of crackheads

wenn5742066

Linnocent is due in court at 10 am PST, 1 pm EST. This is her sentencing hearing, in which Judge Sautner will sentence Linnocent to anywhere from ?time served? to ?a year and a half? for violating the terms of her probation. We?ll have more coverage once we have photos of Linnocent?s latest court outfit, which I?m sure will be rough, and hopefully, Linnocent will get some serious jail time. TMZ?s sources claim that LL thinks she?s only going to get two weeks. HA.

Lindsay Lohan knows she?s getting jail time when she faces Judge Stephanie Sautner later this morning ? but she?s dreaming if she really thinks she?ll only get 2 weeks.

We broke the story ?. Lindsay will concede she violated probation by getting kicked out of the Downtown Women?s Center. As a result, there will NOT be a formal hearing with witnesses and all, but our sources say Shawn Holley will present a list of reasons why the judge should show Lindsay mercy. We?re told Holley will focus on Lindsay?s therapist, who believes LiLo has made progress. And, ironically, Holley will present evidence from the Downtown Women?s Center as well.

As for Lindsay?s sentence, we?re told the judge has not communicated it to either Holley or the prosecutors. Whatever sentence Lindsay gets, the Sheriff?s Dept. tells us Lindsay will serve only 20% ? and that?s exactly what every non-felon in L.A. County Jail serves.

Sheriff?s officials also tell us Lindsay will not be placed in the general population for security reasons. She?ll get her own cell.

Although it?s a virtual certainty the judge will sentence Lindsay to jail, it?s possible she?ll give LiLo time to get her affairs in order ? anywhere from 24 hours to a week, before she has to surrender and begin serving her sentence.

[From TMZ]

Meanwhile, LL?s rep Steve Honig went to Radar to say that Linnocent is going to ?face? her sentence with ?spirit, courage and strength.? Like she?s the Nelson Mandela of crackheads. SO NOBLE. Mahatma Cracken. Honig goes on: ?Lindsay is an extremely strong individual, and is going to do whatever she has to do in order to move on with her life. She is a gifted artist, a compassionate individual and a loyal person who is true to herself. Whatever happens today, she will face it with spirit, courage and strength.? Radar?s sources also say that the judge isn?t going to let LL get off with house arrest this time either.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

Written by Kaiser

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Posted in Lindsay Lohan


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36 Responses to ?Linnocent Open Post: LL is the Nelson Mandela of crackheads?

  1. Great post! This is going to be crackworthy!

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  2. Yay! I?ve been waiting for the Crack post of the day :)

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  3. MAHATMA CRACKEN! SCREEEEE!

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  4. Oh man! Bess posted on the other one that the judge is only probably giving her 30 days, so out in 5-6. That sucks. She?ll never learn that way.

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  5. It?s gonna be a good day, I can tell. Only an hour and a half until wall-to-wall BS! The quotes from the PR whore are priceless - I hope he really hates himself for forcing such dookie out of his mouth.

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  6. Morning all, this should be fun!

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  7. I?m so hoping the judge will throw the book at her. literally. how awesome would it be to see the judge throw LiLo?s 100 pound court file at her face???

    Can we put her in jail and then extend her probation? we?ll let her continue at the morgue and then put her on freeway cleanup duty. it would be so fun! we could then play ?Hit the Cracken? with our cars!!!!

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  8. I understand that President Botha of South Africa didn?t care for Mr. Mandela writing F*ck You on his finger nails either *Shesh*.

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  9. Do not release the cracken!!!

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  10. 1pm EST? Sips on a Gin Tonic? I?ve got time to make jello shots.

    I hope she comes dressed like a hungover drag queen. She believes she?s invincible.

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  11. Step right up to the tailgate- I?ve brought Mimosas with flowertops. Save the cracktinis for later.

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  12. lol, I completely forgot about this.

    I was planning to watch a movie and eat crisps, but I changed my mind about the movie : )

    will there be a chat party like last time?

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  13. Oh, sorry for the double, I just wanted to warn people that it?s not sugar in the bowl next to the expresso

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  14. I?ve been waiting for the LL post! Yaaaay!!! Now all we need is for the judge to send Crackie to jail for a looong time. I hope it?s long enough to include a lock-down for Christmas and New Year?s. Couldn?t happen to a better idiot.

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  15. I?m so excited, I feel like a kid on Christmas morning.
    *Waving at everyone* ?

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  16. Here publicist is a freak. He talks about her like she?s some kind of f***ing marytr sacrificing herself. How gross.

    If she had just pulled her head out of her entitled ass she wouldn?t be in this mess in the first place.

    The ego on this chick and all her enables is flabbergasting. Jeezus.

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  17. My life is boring. Don?t judge. :D

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  18. ??.she will face it with Spirit, Courage and Strength?

    Spirit = alcohol or kombucha tea
    Courage = lie with a straight face
    Strength = her delusions about her innocence

    We wait patiently for a verdict.

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  19. MORNING LADIES!!!!
    Too early for some cracktinis?
    I can?t wait for the fun to begin!!!

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  20. home sick today so i get to enjoy the Crackfest - yah ?please don?t moderate me :)

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  21. TMZ is reporting that because Blohan is ?conceding? the violation, they?re will be no day long hearing, which is what I?ve been looking forward to since the last hearing July 6, 2010. If TMZ is right this will be a mere sentencing. God I HOPE THEY?RE WRONG!!!

    Here?s your finalists folks. BIG orange cone goes to the winner.

    WTF - 3/YES/16 Total
    Dawning Red - 3/No/16 Wkly
    Lucky Charm - 3/Yes/16 Wkly
    Aqua - 3/Yes/16 Wkly
    bellaluna - 3/HOPEFULLY YES/16 Wkly

    OUT, but still get mini party cones.

    Firecracker - 1/Yes/16 Wkly
    LeeLoo - 1/Yes/16 Total
    Diane - 1/YES
    MacScore - 1/Yes
    constance - 1/No/16 Total
    Sillyone - 2/No/16 Wkly
    Morticians - 2/No/16 Wkly
    Lady D - 2/No/16 Total
    Green Eyes - 2/Yes/16 Wkly
    ladybert62 - 2/Yes/16 Wkly
    Seal Team - 2/Yes/16 Wkly
    HannahF - 2/Yes/16 Total
    Cathy - 2/Yes/16 Total
    Bess - 4/No/16 Wkly
    Original Tiffany - 4/Yes/16 Wkly
    Newtsgal - 4/Yes/16 Wkly
    yt - 4/Yes/16 Wkly
    Dana - 4/Yes/16 Wkly
    Danielle - 4/hell yeah/16 Wkly
    karen - 5/Yes/16 Wkly
    Original Mia - 5/No/40 Wkly
    Nina - 6/No/16 Total
    Madisyn - 2/Yes/16 Total

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  22. I love how that insane shot of her has become the standard LL photo. It?s replaced the ridiculous one of her wearing that pale pink outfit looking blitzed out of her skull while making ?prune? face.

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  23. So will she wear white again?

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  24. I cant wait for this to start - need a cracktini now please! I am trying to get my work done so I can watch the hearing (without sound) and read all your posts and not be interrupted by boring dreary work! ?Get that work out of my way, I am Lindsay Lohan!?

    Let the games begin!

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  25. Oh good heavens; ?gifted artist????? She WAS a child star and she HAS done nothing noteworthy. What she IS is a delusional wannabe celebrity. On crack.

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  26. Time to bring it back: St. Linnocent the Persecuted.

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  27. This is excellent. I come back from lunch and I get to watch the sentencing of the century! Well.. sentencing of the week. Hollyweird.

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  28. Darn, I?m going to miss this!!! I?m going to be in training all day at work today and won?t get to see her go to jail :(

    Ladies, please have a cracktail, a cracktini, a metharita, and a couple of vodka shots for me, please! This has been the week from hell at work already, and Wednesday has just started. (Yesterday was so bad, that even though I don?t smoke, I asked my co-worker when he stepped outside for a smoke break to please have one for me).

    Judge Sautner, please give me something to smile about today and send Little Miss Crackypants to jail for as long as possible, pretty please with a cherry on top!

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  29. Her Publicist must have sold his soul to the Devil. Anyone w/ a conscience wouldn?t write this bullish@t as if she is self sacrificing. She?s not some terminally I?ll person facing a death sentence or an individual being convicted for standing up for others,, LILO, Diho, and Publicists all need to just STFU!

    Hmm, chill in some pitchers of crackrini and horse de vours in the oven as I type in anticipation of the party..:)

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  30. Mad, you post reminded me?there?s a band in the tri-state (NY, NJ, PA) called
    BIG ORANGE CONE.

    LMAO!

    http://www.facebook.com/bigorangecone

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  31. Snow day here today so I?m making Brown Nose Cupcakes with Sea Jasper Sprinkles. Enjoy!

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  32. Isn?t it fitting that Lindsay and Kim K are sharing the spotlight again (last time was at Kim K?s fake wedding).

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  33. LMAO@ ?A Gifted Artist?..
    these two obviously smoke the same crack..hahahaha

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  34. Everytime I look at that pic of her, all I can hear is?..?I?m ready for my closeup Mr. Demille?
    Did ya?ll hear that Amanda Seyfried got the Lovelace movie that crackie was suppose to get?

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  35. Whooo Madisyn! Looks like all of us our winners..as we are in good company. Who knew LiHo could bring people together this way:)!!

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