The Kardashians just released their 2011 Christmas (Khristmas) card, and woo doggy, is it epic. Although? remember last year?s Kardashian Christmas card? Last year?s was done in the ?corpsey drag queen? vibe with more slate-grey and a touch of pink and orange (orange from the skin color). This year?s card is all blues and blacks. Still corpsey. Still drag queen-y. Still Photoshopped to within an inch of their cat-faced lives. It?s like they were photographed through a mist, the ?famewhore haze? if you will. You know what struck me, though? How much time and planning and coordination this must have taken. Seriously! Think about it. These people have WAY too much time on their hands. Anyway, Kim even included some close-ups on her Celebuzz page (she also included the 3D image too, for the love of God), which I will caption, just for the hell of it.
Kim: ?This pole was where Kris Humphries was supposed to stand. The pole is a better conversationalist, honestly.?
Bruce: ?Wait, what are we doing? Ah, Blue Steel into the famewhore mist. Right.?
Kris: ?Dina Lohan, eat your heart out, bitch.?
Lamar: ?Jesus, this family.?
Kourtney: ?Do you think anyone would notice if I farted??
Scott: ?If you fart, I?ll stab you in the heart and cut you into little pieces and feed you to your mother.?
Kourtney: ?Ah, Tuesday.?
Mason-Dixon: ?Mommy, why am I dressed like Al Capone??
Photos courtesy of Kim?s Celebuzz page.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian
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72 Responses to ?Kardashian Khristmas Kard 2011: Ridiculously hilarious or just sad??
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Source: http://www.celebitchy.com/198383/kardashian_khristmas_kard_2011_ridiculously_hilarious_or_just_sad/
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Hey, where?s Kim?s husband? Oh wait, that?s right. She can?t keep a man because she?s a bitch.
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WORD
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I second that WORD, and raise you 1 ridiKulous, NarcissistiK Klan.
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Wow this is the most beautiful and sophisticated christmas card I have ever seen. Great job. I love them they are so classy and glossy. I wish them all the best.
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Hmmm?.one of their hired publicists trying to make them still seem cool?
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tad bit of sarcasm, me thinks
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I like it too even thought I?m not a fan. It?s different. Instead of the usual Christmas card which is blah, oh okay, another rosy cheeked Santa, this would definitely catch my interest. Little Mason is worth the whole card ? adorable!
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Ahhh, nothing says Christmas like a bunch of scowling photoshopped famewhores.
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Right? Can they not smile? I mean, Christmas, family time, jolly times?and scowls. I don?t like it!
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God that ridic. Little Mason is adorable tho. just cut the rest out and put him on the front
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Again- WHO dresses these skanks? At this point I would think even Sears would be embarrassed by them. (How?d they get that little boy to make the trademarked cat pout??!)
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Ha! It?s a new colour bitches. Haint blue is so last season. Now introducing: ?Famewhore haze?
Hilarious write up Kais.
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I want to love it because of Mason and Lamar, but the rest of these fools can go away. Kim?s face is so messed up, good lord.
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I agree but I still like Khloe, too. I seem to always pull for her.
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Khloe is honestly the only one I can stand, lol. She?s the realest out of the whole clan as far as I can see, and I love Lamar, so that makes it easier for me to like her. I?ve even given Kourtney a chance but I don?t much care for her, either. Scott is such a dick, but he?s
hilarious.
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Well, at least they don?t take themselves too seriously. (eyeroll)
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Pathetic and desperate.
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These captions give me life, slay me, and then resuscitate me over and over again.
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Looks like a pic for the Adamms Family Creature Feature
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?Their house is a museum, when people come to see ?em?they really are a screaum the Addams Family!?
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MY EYES!!!
The kid whatever-his-name-is is cute though.
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Nothing says Christmas like scowls through a dank haze!
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I lol?ed.
That?s really only the appropriate response. They?re not going to change, so I just laugh, shake my head and ignore them.
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ridiculously hilarious AND sad ? too photoshopped to be taken seriously.
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Good god, they all look photoshopped but they must have taken 50+ lbs off Khloe. What the hell! That doesn?t even look like her body. Who does she think she is fooling??
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That weight can currently be found on Kourtneys a$$, poor thing is apparently carrying this 2nd child behind her. Kris is wearing a spangly, fugly colored, ill fitting monstrosity, that is clearly 3sizes too small, and btw why is she posed like a toddler waiting for the bathroom who has to pee? And for the love, how many times will she continue to recycle that hideous, ill conceived neck bow noose thing she has around her neck? Don?t care enough about the rest to comment. Enough of them?.
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yeah, you are totally right, I did notice that. Why would they make Kourtney?s ass look so much bigger??? That is not how it looks in reality. Is she jealous of all the attention of Kim?s ass so she told them to do that?? So bizarre.
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My first thought was ?why didn?t they let Kris pee before the photo shoot?? Terrible pose.
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Considering how horribly the rest of these idiots were photoshopped they might as well had only the little kid and Lamar in the photo. I?m sad Khloe got photoshopped as bad as she did. Great captions. I think Lamar?s said it all.
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What?s up with Kourtney?s butt?? she is not that big in the back it almost looks as stuffed as kim?s.
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I noticed the same thing! She must be the only celeb using photoshop to look fatter instead of thinner. Fail.
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she IS pregnant?they obviously photoshopped the wrong part of her body!
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Refused, return to sender
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Exactly! LOL!
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They should have used this for the Halloween That is where it belongs. This is a f..cked up family.
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Simply stated it is so very sad. Poor Bruce Jenner sold his soul to the devil the day he took up with Kris and her brood. At least at one time he had real talent and it was more than ?making people fall in love? with him. Run Bruce run and take your little girls with you before they become just like your step-daughters?rich and vapid.
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Methinks it?s already too late for that!
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They all look like androids.
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This post had me rolling, woo doggy. I hope in 2012 this family melts.
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Is anyone else BEYOND creeped out by how that little kid looks here? I mean I?m getting Pet Cemetary vibe big time. This photo is even colder than Kim?s crotch. YUCK.
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I agree. The kid does not look cute at all. He looks like a miniature version of his dad, and like a creepy little devil child that you see in those horror movies. I?m sorry.
Did they photoshop Lamar into the photo again like they did last year?
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EXACTLY. he is like DAMIAN 3; too bad he looks like his douche dad. just a creepy creepy kid. brrrrrrrrr
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lol that is so gross. they are like sequined drag famewhore playboy bunnies.WTF.
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Blow-up dolls in tapdance gear with the facial expressions of serial killers. This is a X-mas travesty!
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Or more like Christmas tranny-vesty. Very weird ? not Christmas-y at all.
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General Thoughts: This card does not evoke the mood of Christmas in any way. The blue ?fame whore haze? gives it a surreal, nightmarish quality. They look like angry mannequins. Unlike other holiday card family photos that I?ve seen (and sent myself), there are no smiles, laughter, playfulness, spontaneity, etc.
Specific observations: Could Kris?s dress be any tighter?how does she breathe? Is Kourtney?s stylist passive aggressive? She looks comical and ridiculous?What woman would intentionally wear that unflattering get up? Little Al Capone is adorable, however. (Someone please rescue him from this madness!)
The whole, over-staged production is cold and flat?the antithesis of the holiday spirit!
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It?s a VC Andrews Holiday Card. lol
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Let me just say that I cant stand this family, but there is something about their xmas cards that make you stare at the picture. Its like I cant take my eyes away from it for some reason. Maybe its the poses or photoshopping or something but they do grab your attention for a bit.
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It looks more like a really f*cked up funeral that was shot in a mausoleum. *shudders
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Who do they think they?re kidding? Kourtney?s butt is Photoshop-fake, and they?ve shaved about 30 pounds off of Khloe!
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Kris Jenner?s dress (different color from everyone else) is a pitiful effort to make her stand out. Unfortunately it just highlights her big hips and the hem is so low it makes it look like she?s hiding ugly knees or something.
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I agree?It?s a transparent and blatant bid for attention!
Unfortunately for Kris, her silhouette bears an unintentional resemblance to the arches in the dramatic architectural backdrop?teeny, tiny head topping a wide body!
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can?t believe the little kid has a SuperBITCHY face already! and probably he?s got the attitude too. poor kid?..
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Even in all it?s famewhore mist, I kind of like it. Not sure for a Christmas card, but I kinda like the photo. Photoshoped to hell but I love Khloe and Lama?s pose. Mason look cute but like he?s learning douchery early from his fahter. And what did the do to Kourtney?s ass? Why does it look like Kim AND Khloe donated some of their ass fa to her?
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I?m going to blame this (like most things) on Kris Jenner. Jesus, the ego on this woman! How else can we explain why she?s front and center in sparkly blue while everyone else looks SO OVER IT in black around her!?
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- Kourtney?s ass is huuuuuge! What the???
- Love Lamar?s caption: sounds about right! Khloe?s legs are oddly shaped?
- Of course Kris stands out with her outfit. Of course!
Love this Kard, it makes me so happy. Happy Khristmas famewhores
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Awww Mason!!!
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that kid looks adorable. everything else is as expected hideous. this family has such issues?this isn?t a holiday card I?d wanna send out but then I think about the family I?m talking about. they make me sick to my stomach they?re just so?.useless. there?s no point to them at all?I wish they would go away..Kim used to be friends with Paris Hilton who is no longer in the spotlight I hope she fade shuts like her. they?re so disgusting
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They shaved Khloe?s right leg and put it on Kourtney?s ass. That?s the only fascinating thing on this pic.
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photoshopped to DEATH
Kim?s face is looking worse than ever! DAMN
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HAHAHAHAHAH this is HILARIOUS!!! These people are such a__ holes!!!!!! How does anyone take this serious???
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Jesus, all those people and not one of them could see where the camera is.
The ?fierce? scowly faces and looking off in every direction just makes them look blind or lost, take your pick.
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I totally expect to see the Potter kids busting through there any moment with Lord Voldemort and the Death Eaters close on their tails, wands flashing everywhere.
That entire photoshoot and the atmosphere remind me of the Potter movies/promotional materials.
Weird.
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Seriously ,
This is the actual card they used ??????
They are so photoshopped they make Lindsay Playboy pics look almost real?.Look at Kim legs ?hee hee proportion size she would be 10 ft tall if her legs were that long and Khoe has lose 100 lbs which seem to jump over onto Kourtney ass?and Bruce and Kris look like fans at a ball game who?ve been waiting to get into the port-0-potty for over a hour?and Kim?s face and head is turned into a pinhead size?.
This was a gag card right?NO !?.You got to be freaking kidding me?LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
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what about the lenght of Kim?s legs? either she is wearing monster platforms underneath, or she was stretched to death with photoshop on top of whatever els they did to her face.
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Their older Christmas cards used to include Bruce?s kids. I find the family all sorts of tacky but come on; excluding the Jenners is just wrong.
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Dang ? I am an anti-christmas person (Bah humbug to all of you) ? but this card is more halloween than christmas. The scowls, the god-awful clothes, the poses ? who dreamt this christmas nighmare up?
And Kim?s comment re soon-to-be-ex hubby is down right nasty.
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I am curious about a few things.
1) Why are Kourtney?s knee-highs rolled down to her ankles.
2) Why did Kourtney have Kim?s big ass Photoshopped onto her body?
3) When did Kim stop being 5?2 and become a 5?10 model? Someone added on a good eight inches to her height. And cut off her ass and thighs in that photo.
4) And dang?. Kris Jenner had 20 years shopped off her face. And 20 pounds shopped off her body.
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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! OOOH! they look soooo coool! Woah! Dont mess with th kartrashians!! They?l blue steel u in2 courtney slutden?s minging crotch!! Oh i?m so scared!! Heeheehee
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kris? hair looks terrible.
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A. Gross. With all the shit people all over the world are dealing with this year, this family is so completely out of touch it?s truly unreal. And after the money whoring wedding of her useless daughter, it seems that something a bit more simple might have been better this year. But not for this shove it in your face crew. They need good security after sending this crap out.
B. Where are Kim?s feet?
C.Any celebrity I know, doesn?t make their ?manager? front and center on their card. I hate to burst Krissypoo?s bubble, but no one and I mean no one watches that show because of her. NO ONE. Not a soul.
D.Gross.
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Occupy Baghdad?
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