Saturday, April 2, 2011

Gwyneth Paltrow?s ancestors are better than your ancestors

Gwyneth Paltrow?s ancestors are better than your ancestors

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I feel like such a dork for admitting this out in the open and everything, but I really like that show Who Do You Think You Are? It?s an American version of a show that I believe started in Ireland?? Anyway, Lisa Kudrow executive produces it and she brings some really fascinating people in, and they spend an hour?s show researching their ancestry through public records, databases, old newspapers, whatever (and whoever) they can get their hands on. Earlier this week, I mentioned in passing that I had seen Kim Cattrall?s and it was crazy - her grandfather was a bigamist! But yeah, I feel like a dork. When I?m home on a Friday night (too often), I watch it while folding my laundry. It?s like my thing now.

So tonight?s episode should be a doozy! DAME GWYNETH is the celebrity! Oh, you know it?s going to be posh and brilliant, and you know Gwyneth is descended from, like, the best people ever. There are no peasants in her background! No ?laborers? or ?janitors?. Gwyneth comes from a long line of Important People. According to the previews:

Gwyneth Paltrow has discovered a fascinating family fact while tracing her roots for hit U.S. TV show Who Do You Think You Are? - her great great great grandfather was a beloved Jewish holy man.

The actress tracked her ancestors back to Barbados while taping the show, which airs in America on Friday night (01Apr11) - but the biggest surprise came when she returned to New York and discovered her great great great grandfather was a ?master of Kabbalah? - the mystic Jewish offshoot Paltrow studies today.

Documents show he was ?a miracle worker? who once saved his community from a raging fire through his faith.

She said, ?This is all kinda blowing my mind.?

[From Contact Music]

Don?t you get it? Gwyneth is so wonderful that even her ancestors are better than your ancestors. God, I can?t wait! I bet she cries when she realizes just how special and elite her relatives were. Here?s the preview:

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Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Written by Kaiser

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Posted in Gwyneth Paltrow


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46 Responses to ?Gwyneth Paltrow?s ancestors are better than your ancestors?

  1. I researched my ancestors and discovered I didn?t have any.

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  2. I figured this would be the way the show went with her on it. No peasant talk allowed.

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  3. My friday night is watching this while i straighten my hair getting ready to go bowl?..and you thought your life was sad!

    I saw the previews for this last week and was hoping and praying that Celebitchy would have it on your website!

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  4. I totally watch this show too. I am so lame i sometimes fall asleep in the middle of it. I truly find it interesting, but fridays are TOUGH!

    They had it on in Canada i think a year or 2 ago. But ours was only a 30 minute show. Not sure what that says?.

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  5. @ Rita - don?t worry, dearest! You can have some of mine :)

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  6. @Elizabeth

    With a name like Elizabeth, they must be royals?..I?ll take them?.even the black sheep.

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  7. I liked the one where Sarah Jessica Parker discovered she should not really be here at all because her rello was scheduled to be burned at the stake, or sommat.

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  8. April?s fool, right?
    Sounds like such an odd ancestry for Dame Goop: I would have said British royal ancestors, with a side dish of French family connections.

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  9. Hmmm, maybe we?re all special snowflakes:

    ?Go back a few milleniums and we?ve all got the same ancesters? from Slate:
    http://www.slate.com/id/2138060/

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  10. My grandson called me one night several years ago and said, ?Nanny, I have to do a report on one of our ancestors?who would be someone interesting?? I told him to Google the Dalton gang and call me back..well, he flipped out, read everything he could, printed the pictures of the hangings, etc?told him I was sorry there weren?t more genteel ancestors to choose from! BTW: he made an A! lol

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  11. I saw this show for the first time last week when Steve Buscemi was the celeb. Really liked it - though, that may be in part due to the fact that I love Donnie? errr, Steve. Off topic, but when does season 2 of Boardwalk Empire start? Totally addicted to that show.

    Meh about Gwennie, though. Don?t hate or love her. She just seems so vanilla.

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  12. found a couple of cousins, we emailed and
    so what
    came out of it.

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  13. @sarah, I?m a little jealous of your Friday night. Sounds bitchin?.

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  14. The husband of a friend of mine can trace his ancestry back to the invasion of England in 1066, one of his forefathers was a norman nobleman who participated in the battle of Hastings. That kind of thing would rattle poor Gwyneth.

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  15. @Harley?.I think they are just beginning to film season 2 of BE, so I?m sure it won?t be on for a while.
    I love it, too!

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  16. This is the first I have heard of this show - hey, Ms. Paltrow - there is an entire town in England that carries my family name! Take that blondie! ha ha

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  17. Thanks brin! :)

    First we have to wait for Mad Men and the Hamm dong, and now we have to wait for BE too? *le sigh* If there are delays with True Blood and Walking Dead I will just cry.

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  18. Yeah, my family is Scottish

    So we were drinking and fighting when your great grandfather was creating a weird religion.

    We had more fun.

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  19. of course goop has goopy ancestors. my ancestors were not gooptastic - just drunken irish farmers.

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  20. Can you imagine her religious ancester rolling in his grave at having such a superficial twit as a descendant? (And I too, will probably be doing my laundry tonight! Work all weekend, only time I can do it!)

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  21. I adore this show and wish the producers would come and help me find my missing links and btw, Gwenyeth, my relatives are cooler than yours! =)

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  22. Kate and JD?s girl: OMG I think we might be related! Ha!

    16 (Sorry my thing is messed up cant read your name!) I live in MT, it is still freaking cold and there is not much to do, WE BOWL!

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  23. i think tracing ancestors can be interesting. i remember having to do it for 2nd grade when i learned that my great great great great great grandpa was king. that was pretty cool.

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  24. @Kaboom

    Tracing ones family back that far must be incredibly interesting. I thought you might tie your screen name into the battle of Hastings but I guess that?s just a conincidence (LOL).

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  25. Big deal. I?m related to the Duke of Earl and Count Chocula.

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  26. @Harley?I know! Hope they re-air season one so we can remember before season 2 starts!

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  27. Well my great-great-great-great (add a few more greats) grandfather wrote the national anthem for Italy. Take that!!

    I wish she could have a relative like my father, whenever anyone asks him where his ancestors are from he says ?Alabama.?

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  28. Kaiser,

    Who do you think you are? is entertaining, but you must check out the better version of this concept? Faces of America, on PBS.

    Faces of America was a far superior show. The host was Henry Louis Gates, and he offered narration including an explanation as to how geneologists were able to locate specific records.

    Yo-Yo Ma?s journey took the viewers to the countryside of China. There, a relation Yo-Yo?s, an elderly man who spoke only Chinese excitedly gestured towards the wall. Inside of the wall, there were ancient scrolls tracing the Ma family back to the 15th century Han Dynasty. Yo-Yo was actually named by one of these ancestors (seriously). The ancestor has written out thousands of names of for all the successive generations of the Ma family.

    Meryl Streep was profiled, she had peaceful Quaker ancestors, and other ancestors who actively fought against Native Americans.

    Stephen Colbert found out he was of Canadian ancestry. Hilarity ensured.

    Good stuff.

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  29. My family traced our ancestry back in ?88 and found we are decendents of the first founded Louisiana Creole society who were wealthy business and landowners. Take that, Goopy! :)

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  30. @Sarah, I?m in Maine, we just got 12? of new snow, bowling is like a beautiful fantasy right now.

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  31. I?m related to George Clymer, one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence. Other than that the only amazing thing about my ancestry is how many different nationalities I?m spawned from. And in the same way that black people born in America insist on being called African-Americans like they were born in Africa then emigrated to America and thus have dual citizenship, I insist upon being called a German-Irish-Dutch-Scottish-English-French-Czech-Swedish-Norwegian-Finnish-American (give or take a few nationalities I haven?t discovered yet), even though I was born in America so I only have the one citizenship.

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  32. Hey Goopy, my ancestor is Danel Boone. I bet he?d kick your mystic?s ass, then skin a bear for a coat. Just saying.

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  33. TQB: I will quit whining now! We have just had rain, so you win!

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  34. I hope for her sake she doesn?t discover any peasants in her family line.

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  35. I don?t think so, my great,great,great,great,great grandfather is Nicholas Lewis, uncle and guardian of Merriwether Lewis. Oh yeah, and distant cousin of George Washington. Shove that up your goop hole gwennie

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  36. I would have paid money to see them tell her she only had the dregs of society as ancestors. Though she never would have let that air!

    I haven?t seen this show, but I did catch an episode of the one PBS did a while back that was the same thing. It was interesting, I?ll have to check this out sometime.

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  37. oh no, my ancestors are better than hers - my great, great grandfather had four wives, and he produced a prodigious number of healthy children scattered around the world today - very powerful sperm, and all that. this side of the family lives up to over 80 years old, men included. take that gwyneth.

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  38. I like the show but I don?t care about Gwyneth?s ancestry.

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  39. Oh, god, is she again blathering about the ?rabbinical dynasty? she came from? STFU.

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  40. Sweet jesus. Those outfits. Haven?t even read the article yet, I just needed to comment on those outfits. Baby girl don?t know how to dress that body. She?s as bad as Jessica Simpson. She has a good figure, she?s very tall and slim, but she has no sex appeal whatsoever. And that?s fine. Some people just aren?t sexy. But she needs to stop trying to dress sexy. Also, she needs to stop pretending she has a tiny waist (she?s thin? but her waist is quite wide). God. I wish she would just give me a call and I?ll pick out her clothes for her. Why do these people never take my advice?? At least hire a bloody stylist (not rachel zoe!) who knows body types very well and knows how to dress a slim apple shape.

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  41. Why the hell would this make you feel like a geek, what are you 16? People watch television, big fucking deal.

    Sorry, I?m feeling bitchy today and I have a feeling it?s going to get me in trouble at some point. Anyway dude, you don?t have to apologize for liking something!

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  42. Well, Gwenyth is a half-ass Jew like me. Her dad was Jewish, like mine and her mother is a WASP?OMG maybe we?re related! I?m going to call her to have tea!

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  43. Descended from Charlemagne (like a few million other people) and William the Conqueror. Almost everyone has someone in their ancestry who would be considered ?interesting?. The show producers must know that too, it would be more than boring to discover that your celebrity is related to absolutely no one noteworthy at all.

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