?How was my day? Oh, the usual. Stood around staring into Victoria?s Secret models asses with a smirk on my face. Same old, same old.?
I make a lot of jokes about stereotypes: Women are terrible drivers, black people love fried chicken, Republicans are all secretly homosexuals, Eskimos covet our gratuitous access to fleece, etc. But the one stereotype I conveniently avoid is how men are huge fucking whiners because, my god, are we babies. And that?s how you trap us. (Write that one down.) So here?s Candice Swanepoel in a bikini to compensate for the man-meat I?ve been tossing the ladies ? and gentleman callers ? all week. If this was an orgy, I just reached around all of you because that?s how deep I love. That?s how deep.
Photo: Fame
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