Sometimes, you just want to laugh at someone because you don?t really like them, and because they suck as a person. But when I actually have a good reason to laugh at someone I don?t care for? I will have an indescribable feeling of something close to schadenfreude, but what I think of as ?exquisite bitchiness? or ?hitting the bitchy G-spot perfectly.? That?s what?s happening in these photos of Jessica Seinfeld in NYC yesterday. Jessica and Jerry did a photo op at the Empire State Building earlier in the day (Jessica in grey), and then last night, they did an event for Jessica?s charity, Baby Buggy (Jessica in that weird purple shade).
I?m not going to discuss the charity, mostly because I?m not that big of a bitch ? Baby Buggy provides lots of great stuff to families in need, and you can read more about it here. All I really want to talk about is how awful Jessica looks. That haircut is just? OMG. Do you think Jessica is a complete bitch to her hair stylist? Because the only explanation for this hair is ?the person doing her hair f?king hates her.?
Now, let?s talk about the fashion. The grey dress isn?t anything great nor is it terrible. It?s just there. But the purple one which she wore to her big Lincoln Center charity event? OMG. It?s just awful and unflattering and completely wrong. Her fashion stylist must hate her too.
CB and I were also discussing the state of Jessica?s rack. In the purple dress, her boobs look really fake ? like the bolt-ons are riding high and stiff. I?m open to the possibility that it?s just a really weird bra, maybe? No, I still think those puppies are fake. When did Jerry buy her new boobs?
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Fashion, Jerry Seinfeld, Jessica Seinfeld
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33 Responses to ?Jessica Seinfeld?s charitable ensembles: do all of her stylists hate her??
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its not the clothes its her face and that hair
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My three year old recently found where I hide our scissors and chopped off a good portion of her hair. Jessica?s hair looks exactly like my daughter?s did before I fixed it. Not flattering. I don?t like the purple dress at all?what material is that? It looks uncomfortable. I do like the grey dress but not with those heels.
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why don?t you care for her at all?
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Wow, too many trips to the Plastic surgery buffet I think.
Restraint sweety, get some.
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She really is unfortunate looking?but she?s married to a gajillionaire so who cares!
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That is such a polite way of putting it? and so true!
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she went to the Kate Gosslin school of say cheese.
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And Stacey Keibler is the valedictorian of the class of 2011.
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They look like brother and sister.
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Exactly my thoughts. In fact, I read the entire thing looking for something that told me she?s actually his sister!
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The purple dress is not good, and I think that particular style has been out for while.
The gray is alright in color and fabric, but the collar, draping, and length don?t do her any justice.
I have no opinion one way or another about her. At least she?s doing stuff and isn?t just a ?lady who lunches.?
PS ? the purple shoes are horrendous. There. Now I?m done.
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Yeah, that hairstyle is not doing her any favors.
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What is with those clown shoes?!
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she divorced her first rich husband to marry her second richer husband. She looks awful! Jerry should have stayed with Shoshanna.
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Wasn?t she only with her first husband for like a a week or something? I remember it was super short.
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That?s what I remember, too, she had just gotten back from her honeymoon. And couldn?t resist trading up. Horrible.
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Shoshanna walked past me last week ? I was like, OMG. She?s beautiful!
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Someone needs to tell Jessica she does not have the face for an edgy haircut, she needs something more classic. Um Jerry and Jessica posing with one of the cutest couples out there, Kelly and Mark, that just makes everything look worse, Mark looks totally unprepared and Kelly?s lips are hiding and they still make the other couple look bad.
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Why does she look like she?s in pain in all of those photos? Like she?s grimacing in agony because her shoes are too tight or something. It?s bizarre. Not one genuine smile in the bunch.
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First thing that popped into my head was fake boobs. I don?t find the dress here or there but the boobs!
Hair cut is unfortunate for her face shape. But it?s also unfortunate that she looks so much like her husband (as others have noted).
All round mess.
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I think she?s just wearing a bad bra. I have this one bra where the padding kinda does its own thing and my boobs end up looking super round/perky/fake. She?s def wearing a bra here and if you look at the 2nd photo you can see the gap between her bra and her boobs. Another styling ?mistake??
Ugh and the My Little Pony-pink shoes with the green-gray dress is HIDEOUS. It looks like some cheap thing she bought at TJMaxx for her grandma?s birthday.
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ommmggg break me off a piece of kelly ripa?s hubbyyy dammmmmmn.
ok i?m done. also, i?ve heard some not-so-positive things about jessica seinfeld.but who knows if they?re true or not? lol she looks like she got a bowl cut.
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I hate to generalize, but this is the kind of ?edgy? haircut a bored/attention seeking upper class mom gets. At my kid?s school, I?ve seen lots of 1% PTA moms do the same kind of thing? mostly when their husbands are workaholics, stop looking at them and/or are having an affair. Next stop is the clich� affair with the personal trainer/Zumba instructor.
Or, @Kaiser we could go with your theory that her hair stylist really hates her.
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Fake or not ? that sh*t is lopsided!!!
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She also needs to buy some antiperspirant. Both dresses show pit stains a?happening.
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I agree with Janie. I have bras that make my average sized boobs look gigantic, say, in a sweater.
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She looks like she cuts her own hair, after a few cocktails. I mean, really. There is just no excuse for that.
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She has pit stains in every picture and her shoes are too big. If you?re going to spend hundreds of dollars on shoes, why not buy the correct size?
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OMG both of those outfits are hideous !!! Her hair totally awful and I do think her stylist hates her guts. I?d like to see her in something from Chloe Sevigny?s new clothing line. Anything would be an improvement.
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Anyone see this little gem?
http://www.crazydaysandnights.net/2011/12/todays-blind-items_06.html
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(1) I like the plum colored dress
(2) I hate the necklaces she wore with that dress
(3) I hate the grey dress
(4) I hate the horrible and LOUD shoes she wore with the grey dress
(5) The haircut is nice on someone else ? unfortunately, she has a large nose and that hairstyle accents it and makes it look even larger ? with all of the millions and millions that Seinfeld earned over the years, I think they should invest some in a little nasal reduction surgery.
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I like that haircut in theory. But on her, oh honey no.
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The purple dress is fantastic when compared to the grey trashbag one.
Maybe the pit stains are there to distract you from the hair.
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