GO HERE to see Lindsay Lohan?s full NSFW Playboy pictorial. Just go and come back, because we have some things to discuss.
You see, I didn?t talk about Lindsay Lohan?s Playboy shoot on Friday for several reasons ? first of all, the full photo shoot was leaked DAYS before Playboy wanted it released, and chances were that Playboy?s lawyers were considering lots of legal actions to get the images taken down, considering that most people wouldn?t buy the magazine if they could see all of the firecrotchy images online ? TMZ even reported that Playboy was ?freaking out? because they stand to lose a lot of sales. However, it looks like Playboy has just decided that now that the leaks are already out there, they should just go with it. Hugh Hefner tweeted that LL?s pictorial was going online early, the newsstand issues would be released earlier and that the issue ?will make the perfect Christmas issue for men in your life ? father, son, husband, boyfriend, whoever.?
Another reason I didn?t want to talk about it: Crackhead exhaustion. I mean, the ?leaks? of the photo shoot are NOT some budget photos-of-photos crap ? these are full-on quality scans of the actual magazine. Someone (cough) got their hot little crack hands on an advance of the mag, scanned the pages and released them. It?s such an obvious crackie move. She?s so obviously pleased with herself.
Now, shall we talk about the actual photo shoot? The shoot is based on the famous (infamous) Marilyn Monroe shoot with photographer Tom Kelley. In Marilyn?s shoot, she was very young and fresh-looking, lounging around on satin sheets, looking kittenish and rather adorable. The Cracken photos look like she?s been dipped in bleach and flea dip and then Photoshopped within an inch of her life. Don?t get me wrong ? I was genuinely surprised that her body looks that good. Even if there is the motherlode of ?Shop, LL?s got the basics for a bangin? body. I was especially surprised with how pretty her boobs are, honestly.
BUT THE FACE. The face is rough. The face is trashy. The face is all kinds of terrible. Those horrible lips, that red lipstick, the lack of any real seduction or joy in her eyes. She?s just awful. Also ? she didn?t show vadge. Does that matter? The shoot is just all T&A.
I also skimmed the ?interview? with LL ? I don?t even care enough to transcribe it. She compares herself to Marilyn, of course, and talks about how she was really mixed up when she was 18 and 19. No mention of 20-25. One quote: ?I have no idea why there is this fascination with everything I do.? BECAUSE YOU?RE A CRACKHEAD MONSTER.
Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Lindsay Lohan, Playboy
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58 Responses to ?Lindsay Lohan?s leaked pictorial causes a major headache for Playboy?
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Her rear end is quite pointed in the fourth photo?what?s up with that?
I nominate this photoshop artist for a major award. He made a crackhead look passable.
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i noticed it too. but in the last pic, u see the full photoshop. notice the niples are not the same from the pics above. they are bigger?.
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A common trick for a perky butt is to photograph a model?s ass as she?s laying down or something, and then graft that image onto another pic where she?s standing or something. It creates the illusion of shape and tone. I?m guessing LL?s booze soaked ass is so saggy it was photographed upside-down then added in.
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Also, am I the only one that thinks the ?leaked? photos are for publicity? I have a sneaking suspicion Playboy planned it this way, because who would actually buy a copy to see her?!
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Agreed. This is just really sad. She?s photoshopped to within an inch of her crackheaded existance. The only real similarities with MM is that they are both troubled. MM is an icon. LL is just sad. She looks dead inside in these pics. No amount of Photo-shop magic will fix what?s wrong with her.
And besides that, who the hell buys Playboy for their father? Eww.
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I also noticed the boobs! They look very good, but I guess it?s hard to mess them up when you?re only 25.
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She has chicken legs and no ass. I think the photos are pretty bad considering they have been photo shopped, it makes me cringe to think of what the untouched photos look like. LL, please move to Siberia and disappear.
And, she has NO muscle tone. Not even for an average person?
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I have a feeling the untouched photos will surface since TMZ has one of her just before the shoot (in a robe). My my, how convenient. If she doesn?t sell as well as they expect, then hold your breath because they might release the untouched ones just for publicity sake (what else is left for her?).
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Regarding the ?no muscle tone?. I completely agree. Thats why the pic of her straddling the ?bunny? chair at the top is FAKE. A. Those legs have muscle tone. B. Blohan is NOT that ?leggy?. She?s rather short and those legs look like someone who is 5?8 or 5?9. What is this idiot, 5?4 tops?
I feel sorry for the poor schmuck who bangs her. When she disrobes, the shock and horror of reality is gonna smack this dude/chick senseless.
I?d actually pay good money to see the first photoshoot that was rejected and BEFORE photoshop.
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The pictures are pretty, but photoshop (and life) make her look so plastic. She doesn?t look like a real person, or even herself, but rather computer?s interpretation of what Marilyn Monroe looks like. There is nothing in that pictorial that makes me think ?wow, Lindsay looks good? because nothing in that pictorial is actually her.
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She does have pretty boobies. The pictures are good, but why oh why oh why won?t she just embrace the sexy spitfire redhead look instead of trying to be a bleached blonde bombshell?! Blonde just does NOT work for her, no matter how much they photoshop. She may still be a cracken as a redhead, but she looks less cracken then.
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Yeah, some people can dye their hair any color they want, but Lindsay is not one of them. Her complexion is such that her natural red is by far the best. Maybe she could do a dark brown or maaaaybe a very dark blonde. This white blond makes her skin look dirty.
They literally photoshopped all of her skin. She doesn?t have any freckles in this. That?s why the pics look like paintings.
Boobs look good ? not sure how you could photoshop them into looking perky when they?re actually saggy, so I think posing + photoshop + they?re less saggy than we thought are all at play.
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I work with photoshop and trust me, you can do some miracle things with it. It wouldn?t be difficult at all to push her boobies up a little. They do look good though, photoshop or not!
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while I may have to bleach my eyeballs afterwards, I am kind of interested in seeing the untouched photos from this shoot?
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what is the upside for LL releasing the photos early? i don?t think it was her. her manager/mom would want this to be a best seller. to release the photos early will kill sales. wasn?t LL or her camp.
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I agree. I don?t think this is Lohan Inc. at work here, only because they wouldn?t have access to the pics before hand. Even if she did get an advanced copy before the release date, by her ?leaking? the photos, Hef would sue her little white freckled ass so fast, your head would spin. Plus, like you pointed out it wouldn?t benefit Lohan Inc. to hurt sales of the mag by releasing the pics early.
Since we haven?t heard a peep about any lawsuits or threats of a lawsuit and since the pics remain on the internet, I?m gonna assume ole Hef has a master plan of some kind. I can?t imagine what it is, but he must.
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Re: Hef?s master plan?Weird kinky video during the shoot of her doing lines off her own boobs, perhaps?
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I feel violated. Please cover up your photoshopped ass, Lindsay. That was just WRONG, and her boobs are def photoshopped to death, they?re really saggy in papped pictures. Hope the person in charge of that photoshopped- job got paid extra
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i saw the pics yesterday, and i can?t get over how sad and not joyous or seductive she looks. i know she?s an adult and she consented to having them taken, but something feels just off, exploitative. it really looked like she was having a miserable time, for the first time i really pitied her.
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I felt the same way. I actually had a feeling of foreboding, that this will not end well. Not to the same degree as Anna Nicole, after her son died, but just a feeling that things are going to get worse.
Maybe it?s because I flashed back to when she was 17 and the press was much too fixated on her breasts. And now, she?s giving the boys what they want, albeit several years later.
It?s just sad.
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I want to see the pictures from the first Playboy shoot that got dumped.
And I still think Lohan looks like Amanda Lepore?s ugly sister.
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OMG, even more so, right?
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Where has the crack that belongs to her back disappeared to in pic 7? Bad photoshop! Bad!
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way too much photoshopping. honestly,if we were not told nobody would know it?s lindsay lohan.those breasts definitely
look nothing like those seen in her see-thru tops.
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I have a theory about the leaked photos. I think Playboy ?leaked? them.
When it comes right down to it the pictures are really just average looking. There is nothing sexy about them it really looks like she doesn?t even know how to pose. And if this is the best of the photos. What did the first shoot look like?
So back my theory, with the photos ?leaked? Playboy can blame the internet when the magazine doesn?t sell well.
Just saying.
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I think they did too. Doesn?t make sense for Cracken to release them. She wants the issue to be a mega-seller. Playboy, oth, has plenty of reasons to release them. It isn?t going to be a big seller and the photos are pretty average. Her eyes are dead. Her body isn?t toned. Her boobs are gorgeous, but that?s it.
For sexy, look at Buffy?s Charisma Carpenter?s pictorial. Hers was amazing. Very sexy. Try again, Cracken!
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Even though she?s in her birthday suit these pics aren?t sexy, seductive or anything like that, just plain boring. I?ve seen fashion spreads in magazines that were hotter than that?.and these gals were clothed.
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Exactly, there is no expression at all. I find the pics really unsexy
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How is it she is so curvaceous, with that curve on her side? She always had a very straight midsection, boyish even. PHOTOSHOP
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I REALLY thought that these photos would be A LOT worse. She looks pretty good. Obvious ?Shop, sure, but her boobs look fantastic. Clearly, they curved her up in the butt and legs, since she has none IRL, but I am having a serious case of boob envy. Also, totally agree with Shelly above. If she had gone back to the red, these photos would have looked a lot better. Blonde washes her out, makes her look older and more dirty and orange, and makes her look psychotic when styled Marilyn short. With that longer hair style in her natural red, she could have still done the retro, but it would have been a hell of a lot more youthful and flattering.
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FoxNews.com (via HuffPo) is reporting that the original leak came from a filesharing website called WorldMags.net, based in Eastern Europe, and that they?re the product of some hacker who managed to break into Playboy?s servers, download about 200 files, and reassemble them. So it may not have been Crackie or her mother who leaked them.
Either way, they look very little like her, although they look as good as anyone could possibly make her look, I guess.
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I thought these were weird. A two day shoot and these are the best of the best? And they needed *that* much photoshop? This feels very ?prop her up & trot her out? like Britney.
Also ? re: her boobs ? They?re as saggy as mine and I?ve nursed three kids ? and they?re enormous ? I?m not sure why she doesn?t think she needs a bra. Ever.
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Dipped in bleach? She needs to be dipped in flea powder and disinfectant. This will not revive her career; Hollywood has moved on an there is a whole flock of young and younger actresses who are making strides. Her time is over, now it is time for her to move on. But she will never be a force in films again, ever.
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dipped in flea powder ? lol!
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It?s strange to me how Lindsey is all bleached blond and extensioned when the whole fun of the MM photo shoot was a curly haired, (naturally) red headed Monroe.
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almost username twins! marilyn wasn?t a redhead though she was born a blonde, and her hair got darker over time like most blondes? hair.
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Marilyn was naturally blonde as a child. Google it. Her hair darkened to auburn (reddish brown) by the time she was a teenager. Her hair was already dyed blonde when she posed nude in 1949. Back then, color photo processing sometimes got the tint wrong. That?s why she looks like a true redhead in some earlier photos.
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I think Playboy leaked the pictures also to drum up more interest. Now, there is a scandal surrounding them. Will increase sales. And if I were to give that issue as a gift to my husband for Christmas, he would probably actually read it and not look at the pics.
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That?s AFTER the shop job? Are u guys sure? I?m still seeing a good bit of cellulite and uneven skin tone that I would have thought they?d get rid of.
Does anyone know whether she?s had a boob job?
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Everyone keeps saying how nice her boobs are. You all do realize that boobs can be fixed with Photoshop?
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Ugh. Lohan is NOT Christine Keeler, nor Joanne Whalley, which is what that cover is supposed to be. She is too pathetic and crackie to bring down a government.
And, talk about PHOTOSHOPPING HELL!
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The iconic of Keeler, which Joanne Whalley reproduced in the movie about the Profumo Affair:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christine_Keeler
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Amsterdam. That?s what they look like. If you?ve ever been to the red light district you?ll know what I mean. Should be sexy (blonde, red satin, nude, heels), but really a bit sad.
I feel bad for her that this is actually her life.
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Perfect! So she can use these photos for her promotional flyer when she moves on to selling herself in a window of the red light district?
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The boobs look good, but she still seems so dirty. I have the urge to burn everything she sat on/rolled around on for the shoot.
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No worries Java. Hef collected everything she touched on the set, went to an empty field on his property, poured lighter fluid on everything, and struck a match. Hazmat was then called and removed the burnt out rubble.
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OMG OMG OMG she looks perfect in these pictures. She is MM od this century. She is stunning. I?m so happy for her she is on right track again. I?m sure 2012 will be her year ? huge comeback on the way. After all these time haters finally have no reasons to hate her. She is just doing great.
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Uh, you might want to go back and read the previous 23 posts.
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I can?t believe some of you had the curiosity to look at nudes pics of Linds?blech
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It?s like a car wreck. You know you shouldn?t look, but your curiosity gets the best of you.
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she?s skinny but flabby ? there is potential there if she would go to the gym. she does need a boob lift. most of the pictures had her lifting her arms up and back, straining herself in an effort to pull her boobs away from her waist. Unfortunately, nothing can be done about the face at this point.
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Don?t have boob envy, photoshop is AMAZING! They can put em up under your chin if they want to, turn obese people into skinny minis you wouldn?t believe what that program can do.
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Those tatas were ?lifted? by photoshop. This twit NEVER wears a bra so we know how low they hang, we?ve seem them on display every time she steps foot out the door.
They do look GREAT, thats how you know they?re NOt hers.
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i know they are Photoshopped, but her body looks great. i would really enjoy having that rack.
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I find it interesting and a little weird that they photoshopped her tattoos off. At least the one on her lower back is mysteriously gone.
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?She? looks great ? but I don?t see any point in commenting on any of it because even slight tweaking with photoshop can completely change a face/body.
The boobs are fantastic, sure, but they?re NOT HER BOOBS.
As for the MM tribute.. the camera loved MM. She brought something more than beauty. The sexiness came from her playfulness. Even if she faked it there was always play and joy in her eyes. LL?s eyes are kind of dead.
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Also, I?m fairly sure that?s her ?actual? body, but her face looks like it was cut and pasted on in mircosoft word. Which makes everything about this shoot suspect. . .
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Looked at the 1st few, lost interest. It?s a total pity that she possessed such a cute face, great body and so much talent and just flushes it all down the crack toilet daily. Her youth is holding the line against the abuses, but that won?t last much longer. What a waste. My 7 year old loves to watch ?Parent Trap? and says, ?Those are great actresses! Where are they?? I don?t have the heart to tell her: facedown in a pile of coke, twitching.
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