Wednesday, December 7, 2011

?Linnocent will debut Playboy cover on Ellen, but here?s a preview right now? links

?Linnocent will debut Playboy cover on Ellen, but here?s a preview right now? links

Linnocent will debut her Playboy cover on Ellen next week, but here?s a preview. [ICYDK]
Brad Pitt, George Clooney & many more do awesome villain videos. [NYT]
Blind items! Khloe Kardashian totally isn?t a Kardashian. [Dlisted]
Stacy Keibler mentioned babies! It was nice knowing you, Cray-Cray. [LaineyGossip]
State of Play on BBC America! The original, awesome miniseries. [Pajiba]
Kristen Wiig is dating Drew Barrymore?s ex. [Evil Beet]
JWoww?s Maxim Jugs. [Yeeeah]
Rebecca Gayheart & Eric Dane are still together. [Celebuzz]
Miranda Kerr poses without clothes. OMG. [Pop Sugar]
Sofia Vergara makes bad faces. Her rack still looks good, though. [The Blemish]
Oh, hello, Nick Ayler. Can I buy you a drink? [A Socialite Life]
OMG, read Mike?s CRAY CRAY letter to Lauren. [CDAN]
An 8-year-old pwns Michelle Bachmann. [The Frisky]
Queen Latifah covers Essence, talks about body image. [Bossip]
Our current Miss America is a drunk-driving a?hole. [IDLITW]
Sleepy Kitteh just wants to go to sleep right here okay? [OMG Blog]
Alec Baldwin quit Twitter. Because it?s a rude, vile little pig. [I?m Not Obsessed]
Matt Damon & David Letterman pose for their Christmas card. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]

Written by Kaiser

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- Celebrity weddings of the year! [Popsugar]
- Best of 2011: Evan Rachel Wood?s hair [Lainey Gossip]
- The Angry Birds dress! [D-Listed]
- Parker Posey?s dress is bad enough on it?s own, but scroll down [Go Fug Yourself]
- Celebrity moms over 40 [Wonderwall]
- Even if this pathetic post-date e-mail is fake, it?s still hysterical [Gawker]
- Gemma Arterton?s rack is incredible [Pajiba]
- Jersey Shore Season 5 promo. Gross. [Evil Beet]
- Celebrity workout videos that should not exist [Cracked]

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72 Responses to ??Linnocent will debut Playboy cover on Ellen, but here?s a preview right now? links?

  1. wtf is with her leg and arm?

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  2. Why anyone would pay to see Lindsay spread eagle is beyond me. I hope the magazine dies on the shelf. I know Linnocent already got paid, but maybe if the mag doesn?t sell, it will deter others from doing this again.

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  3. Faces of meth photo-shopped?lol

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  4. I am 54?my boobs have age as an excuse to sag that bad.

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  5. Father?s stay in your daughters lives, or they may end up spread eagle, badly photo shoped on a non-relevant men?s magazine.

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  6. Ewww. That cover picture makes her look like a dirty whore they cleaned up and put red lipstick on. Oh, wait?.

    That bunny chair is obviously designed to take your mind off the fact that you?re looking at a skanked-out, cracked-out sack of freckles with boobs so low they can kiss the chair between her legs. If PB was a responsible publication, they?d include a little container of antibiotic eyewash with every copy sold.

    It?s truly special to see the ?Cracken? photo AND ?Pink Fur Hobag? all in the same day!

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  7. I hope the photoshop folks get a big, fat Christmas bonus for having to go anywhere near that cess pool. Ewwww.

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    • I hope they burned that chair in a religious ceremony and then did a self-cleansing ritual too. Or maybe the photogs et al were dressed in hazmat suits.

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      • I wish Lindsay would read your comment cause it?s GOLD! LMAO!

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      • Gab

        Didn?t you see HAZMAT at the morgue the other day? You?d think thats where they were taking the chair, by no, they were ?escorting? (double entendre) Blohan to CS.

        The ?chair? was taken out back after the shoot, Hef doused it with lighter fluid and struck a match. Problem solved!

        HAZMAT returned to PB to delouse the studio where the shoot took place. Again, problem solved!

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      • Omg, I choked on my water. Lol

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  8. It looks like she could probably sling her floppy boobs over her shoulders if she wanted. Her face is so photo-shopped you can barely tell its her, which is actually a good thing but they might as well have saved some money by just using another model and p-shopping her to look like LL.

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  9. I bet her mother is so proud.

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  10. Thank god for photoshop

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  11. They should have insisted she dye her hair red as part of the deal. She would have been unique in the photoshoot instead of her bleached mess.

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  12. just like to note ? it?s not the current Miss America ? it?s the former (2010) Miss USA

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  13. Does anyone know if guests/celebrities like Lindsay get paid to appear on Ellen/talk shows??

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  14. Interesting that the majority of the Playboy covers usually have the women in lingerie and showing more skin, like their belly and such. Whereas Lindsay is covered up by a chair.

    Maybe they didn?t have enough money to pay for the photoshop on the cover and the actual spread?

    I?m embarassed to say this, but my grandfather still has a subscription to Playboy. He?s had this since my dad was a kid. -_-;

    Guess I?ll see this issue hidden under the couch cushions when I go to see him for Christmas.

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    • CR

      Whatever you do, DON?T LOOK! You can?t ?unring the bell? so to speak. Once you look at that, its all over. You can?t ?unsee? what has already been seen.

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      • I?ll be drinking plenty of booze beforehand, and will make sure to be in the bathroom when I look. I can?t help it, I?m curious to see exactly how photoshopped Lindsay will be.

        Thankfully Playboy isn?t the more explicit nudie magazine. I don?t think even I would be able to stomach a full on view of Lindsay?s anatomy.

        *EDIT* I?ve been looking at this site: http://celebslam.celebuzz.com/2011/12/bfm_enlarged/enlarged-lohan_wardrobe_malfunctions.php?bfm_index=47

        Has this girl EVER worn a bra? I never thought implants could sag that bad. And she literally has no areolas. O_o;

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      • CR

        Good thinking. Your planning ahead, knowing booze and the loo will need to go together for this fiasco.

        As for the ?sag?. I know I?m in the minority here and have never mentioned it before but I believe her tata?s are natural. She?s ?sagged? for so long, with not wearing a bra and all, I just don?t think she?s had implants. I supposed we?ll know when the issue comes out.

        I?ll just check out the pics online, PB is crazy if they people will line the streets to see Blohan, nude or not.

        As for the ?photoshop?. We all said from the moment it was first rumored, then confirmed that she?d be photoshopped from here to enternity. Just look at the above photo. Where are her freckles? Her legs are NOT that long. Her saggy tits look about right but thats about it. I won?t even attempt the mug.

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  15. Someone save this woman!!

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  16. I?m a Playboy fan from way back, and that cover is just bad. Sad that?s the best they could make her look.

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  17. Ew. That?s all I have to say.

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  18. How can Playboy realistically justify putting L?houdini on their cover when they have all those pretty young blonde toys lined up in old Hugh?s bed? Gross!

    Really makes you wonder how desperate Playboy are! And, how on earth did they decide L?houdini would make the stagmag more popular..huh..have we missed something..?

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  19. Each copy of Playboy will be sold with a bottle of rubbing alchol to splash into your eyes. To be used either before or after I?m guessing it?s the user?s discretion. Matches sold seperatly.

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  20. what a gross cover. and how disappointing that ellen would promote this shit; and why would her audience be interested in this skank. i?m sure the nightly shows will watch for the audience reaction and if it?s at all positive, will immediately book her.

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  21. i guess ellen is degrading herself by promoting her as lindsay is supposedly a part-time lesbian.

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  22. That letter from Mike is TOO much! I do think Lauren was rude (esp. at her age) not to respond to his texts or voicemails but I also think his letter is a clear indication of why.

    She definitely shouldnt respond to this email (that would only serve to confirm she received it/another means of him contacting her) but I think a simple text message is in order: ?Mike I?m not interested in continuing to date you.?

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    • O M G! is right.

      CRACK TAILGATE LADIES, you gotta read this post: OMG, read Mike?s CRAY CRAY letter to Lauren. [CDAN]

      I agree she should ABSOLUTELY NOT RESPOND to his email, but I so disagree with you that she should respond by text.

      ?but I think a simple text message is in order: ?Mike I?m not interested in continuing to date you.?

      Kasey, if this woman texted him your quote above, he?d respond with ?WHY?? and it would never end.

      It stated in the ?email? that he called, left v/m?s, and texted numerous times. This man is a textbook stalker. He obviously frightened her away. He probably called her THAT NIGHT after the date, first thing in the morning, then at lunchtime, maybe after work. She?s like ?eff this, I don?t think so? and thought it best just to leave well enough alone. She probably thought he?d take the hint. ANY contact would only encourage this possibly dangerous man.

      He kept repeating himself over and over again for her to contact him. If I were Lauren, I?d stay away from the Philharmonic alone. This man does not sound right in the head, especially after ONE DINNER. Wow, just WOW!

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  23. That?s appropriate for her?spread eagle. It?s probably the only position that feels natural to her.

    Ellen: Thought your show had more class.

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  24. WOW!!!
    And this is a reshoot?..
    This pic doesn?t look hot or good at all?.so wonder just how bad the first shoot was?.
    I?m just sayin?

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  25. The SAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  26. For her to do playboy she must be at rock bottom.

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  27. Its amazing what photoshop can do isn?t it.

    Her pose is beyond awkward though.

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  28. Jaysus, that doesnt even look like Linnocent!!?!
    Photoshopping big time!

    Bizarrley I cant wait to see the shots, purely from curiosity and to see how little the shots actually resemble the real Linnocent!!

    *waves to all the ladies*

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    • Hey ruby!

      Don?t think I?ll be looking at the pics, but I?ll take your word when you tell me how terrifying they are. It may even be like that movie ?The Ring,? where you die after seeing it; but instead when you look at her in playboy you immediately catch an STD. So you may want to stock up on precautionary antibiotics ;)

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    • *Waving back* to Ruby

      Not only do they need to photoshop the body but especially the mug. Thats whats going to need the most tweaking. (pun intended)

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  29. Why debut on Ellen? Isn?t this show on in the early part of the day? (Don?t watch it) Seems like Chelsea Lately would be a more appropriate show. Bet Chelsea would tell her just what she thinks, but Ellen will be all nice. To polite to call a skank a skank. Chelsea wouldn?t have a problem with that.

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  30. I think Ellen genuinely feels bad for Lindsay and has decided to throw her one last crack bone in order to help jump start her failing career.

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  31. ?Do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro, do your boobs hang low? Can you tie em in a knot, can you tie em in a bow, do your boobs hang low. Can you throw em over your shoulder like a Continental soldier, do your boobs hang lowwwww?

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  32. I?ll buy it. There hasn?t been a more interesting woman on the cover for a while. Being in Playboy takes a certain celeb, She?s not boring like Kim. It used to be just want to be models selling sex, then actresses who wanted to show the world the were still sexy, then aging actresses showing they were still sexy, then cheesy celebs that just wanted to show they were a woman, now it?s actresses who can?t get any more work. Who?s next?

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  33. What an awkward cover,

    Pose is weird?.

    Intensified Mcdonalds color scheme?.

    awkward?..

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  34. The photo looks nothing like her; this bodes well for the rest of the pics?.

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  35. Wow, at least she got her teeth fixed prior to this shoot because she looked like a dog who chewed on it?s bone for too long with those little, stained, chipped teeth. Now the question is, are her boobs really as droopy as everyone claims? I think not, she?s easy to hate but I?d still do her.

    BTW, where is BRB, GC, ILG, and the rest of ?that? crew?

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  36. BFD hasn?t she used that pose 1000 times already?

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  37. Don?t any one notice how out of proportion her head size is compared to her body ..It?s at least 20 % larger then her body..its been photoshopped over the Playboy Title and they did a piss poor job of it?as for the rest my goodness if this is the best they could do it boogles the mind to think what it looked like before? legs have been lengthtened , arms have been altered and they tired to raise those floggy boobs?and the face is almost unrecogiziable?..and last is the freckles ?computer must have burnt out before they got half of them?..

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  38. All I can think of when I see it is that after this shoot, she went out and crashed that Hollywood party with like Leo DiCaprio and everyone and made people nervous with her crackraziness. Remember? She kept the hair and makeup and took it for a ho-stroll where she wasn?t wanted.

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  39. heck, with photoshopping like that, i could be playmate of the year

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  40. Oh MADDDDDISSSSSSYYYYNNNNNN!!!!

    What do you make of the recent glut of LiLo stories? Just as puzzling as radio silence is the sudden onslaught of radio NOISE. If Hef was in charge, I can?t believe he would?ve signed off on the faux Heath Ledger story, which confirms everyone?s idea of her as a desperate, lying loser?

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    • Hey hey hey Booooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

      As for your first question:

      ?What do you make of the recent glut of LiLo stories??

      Three words: THE CHECK CLEARED!

      As for your next comment:

      ?If Hef was in charge, I can?t believe he would?ve signed off on the faux Heath Ledger story?

      Your right, Hef would NOT have allowed this idiotic story, but Hef?s NOT in charge any more. (see the above, THE CHECK CLEARED)

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      • Mad, I agree with you. Linnocent is out of her cage as far as PB is concerned.

        What is your guess as to what?s going to happen with the CS on December 14th?

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  41. I like how the article calls her ?the Mean Girls star?. Mean Girls came out in 2004. That was SEVEN years ago.

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  42. ?Good luck with that showing your snatch to the world thing.? ?David Spade on a friend?s wife bragging about her upcoming Playboy spread.

    Also. Ew. They put someone else?s face on her, gave her Rupaul?s old wig, but the chicken legs and bedraggled boobs look all too frighteningly real.

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  43. Your soooooo right Madisyn?..
    but you can bet you biffy is wasn?t a million dollars?more like $100,000 if she was lucky?thats the most he would pay and not get a full monte out of the deal?.If that cover is any indecation of what the other pictures look like he over payed by $999,99 dollars?.cause it would cost him that much to photoshop them enough to show??

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  44. So how is this all going to work out with the photos on December 15? Will all of them be available online when the magazine hits the streets?

    I wouldn?t pay to see LL?s girly parts, but I?d look for curiosity?s sake if the photos somehow found their way onto the interwebs for free.

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