Sunday, July 31, 2011

Hot Girl & Guy Friday: Some dong & biscuit variety for the sultry summer

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Paul Bettany and Jennifer Connelly. I think Jennifer and Paul are maybe the sexiest actor-couple right now. Yeah, you could make the argument for Angelina and Brad, or Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz, but for my money, Paul and Jennifer are perfect, because they are both my type - she?s a tough, smart brunette beauty, and he?s a ginger and an Englishman. The photo of Jennifer in the black bra? yeah, that?s why Paul is a lucky bastard. And the way he looks at her, the way his arm is always out for her to take? that?s why she?s a lucky bitch. I want them both. Oh, and just prepare yourselves, because there?s a lot of love for gingers in this list.

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Julianne Moore. GINGER FIRE. And Julianne was born with it. She?s aging so beautifully, and she?s not messing with her face and I just love her, okay? She?s so sexy to me, but beyond my attraction to her, I just simply LIKE her.

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Rufus Sewell. I?ve always liked him because he seems rather smarmy, and he?s got an accent, and that?s basically all I need, but for the past two weeks, PBS Masterpiece Mystery has been airing Zen, where Rufus plays a cop in Rome. It?s a really good show, and Rufus wanders around Rome like he just stepped out La Dolce Vida, wearing smart Armani suits and being all ethical and smart and sexy. I love him now.

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Emily Deschanel. It?s not even about Emily?s body for me, although she does have a lovely figure (she?s one of the few women on television who seems to gain weight as her show - Bones - goes season to season). It?s about her beautiful, impossible, incredible face! I love her face. She?s like the television version of Angelina Jolie, as far as beauty goes. All of those features together should be very strange, but they all somehow work to make a strikingly beautiful woman.

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Christina Hendricks. GINGER FIRE. Also: BOOB FIRE. Christina may have hit-or-miss styles, but can we all agree that the rack is incredible? And the ginger is quite something too. With all of the boobage and the ginge, you know what goes unnoticed and unremarked on? Christina has a sexy voice. It?s girly and feminine and sexy without her doing a Paris Hilton-like ?sexy baby? voice.

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Sam Rockwell. He?s not traditionally ?handsome?. But I love him. He reminds me of my dog, honestly, and I adore my dog. They both have sweet eyes and they seem eager to please. I didn?t mean anything gross about my dog, okay? I?m not having sex with my dog. But I?d like to do something doggy-style with Sam.

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Kelly Brook. Perfect hourglass figure. Perfect proportions. Sigh? I want. That?s all I?ve got. I still can?t decide whether I?d rather have her body in place of mine, or whether I?d like to just spend the night with her.

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Paula Malcomson (By CB) I?ve been watching Deadwood on HBO Go, and damned if there aren?t so many attractive people in that show. Paula plays Trixie, and she?s feisty and so lovely to watch. She?ll lift up her skirt just as soon as she?ll shoot you. Like Kaiser I love the gingers. Paula is Irish, and she?s also been on Lost and Sons of Anarchy. She?s about to make her big screen debut as Katniss? mom in The Hunger Games. I was so excited to read that today and I can?t wait to see her.

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John Hawkes (By CB) Hawkes plays Sol Star on Deadwood and I adore his character?s matter-of-fact demeanor and the straight way he plays him. I know he?s not traditionally hot, but there?s something so attractive about his piercing blue eyes and floppy hair. He?s an incredible actor too. Hawkes was nominated for an academy award for best supporting actor last year for Winter?s Bone.

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Deborah Ann Woll (By CB) Here?s another ginger, the gorgeous 25 year-old actress who plays Jessica Hamby on True Blood. She?s so strikingly pretty and she could easily be vamping it up on the red carpet, but she plays it safe in comparatively conservative dresses. Her boyfriend, E.J. Scott, is legally blind and she advocates for awareness of his condition, a degenerative eye disorder called choroideremia. I also was able to find out that she dyes her hair that gorgeous red color at home. She just seems so lovely and down to earth.

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Nelsan Ellis (By CB) A lot of people have the mistaken belief that this Ellis is gay, since he so convincingly plays flamboyant character Lafayette on True Blood. He has a longterm female partner though and a son. Whichever way he swings, you cannot deny that Ellis is the sex.

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Asia Argento (by Bedhead) Not only is this Italian woman blindingly gorgeous, but she can wear the hell out of almost any dress on the red carpet. Furthermore, Asia?s also made a huge splash with her acting career and managed to step out of her father?s shadow in her own right. She?s also kooky as hell and has a real sense of humor about herself, so it?s easy to imagine hanging out with her, having a few drinks, and well, you know?

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Alyssa Milano (by Bedhead) I?ve had a girl crush on this one since she graced the pages of Tiger Beat and Bop magazine on a monthly basis. Somehow, Alyssa managed to shed the ?child star? curse and graduate into full-fledged adult actress. Of course, she?s always best on the small screen where one can appreciate her in the privacy of one?s own living room.

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Trent Reznor (by Bedhead) Sigh, what can I say about this guy? For starters, he?s the master of angst and as sullen as they come, but Reznor?s devoted legion of fans will never desert him. Even though he?s worked through most of his anger, he can still deliver just as much in concert as when he was previously coked up to the gills. Score one for sobriety, and (NSFW link) God Save The Keyboards.

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Melanie Laurent (by Bedhead) Thank goodness for Quentin Tarantino, who unearthed this little French treasure for all of us yanks to enjoy as well. Melanie can convey such intensity with her performances, but I find her most captivating when she tosses back her head in laughter on the red carpet. Such joie de vivre, no?

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Eva Green (by Bedhead) She?s positively gorgeous without a doubt, but a lot of what I love about this woman has to do with her attitude. Eva is so smoky, sultry and just plain bloody weird. I?d even go so far to wager that she?d be fantastic in bed; yet the truth of the matter is that, in person, she?d probably freak me out so much that I?d run like hell.

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Amy Smart (by Bedhead) I?ve always found Amy to be positively adorable, and she?s a perfectly competent actress. It?s too bad that she gets stuck in a lot of trash, whether it?s straight-to-DVD or otherwise. Perhaps she?ll finally get that big mainstream break one day, or maybe I?ll just stay content to watch her under the radar.

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Guy Ritchie (by Bedhead) Fortunately, he?s no longer known as Mr. Madonna, and he was always too good for her anyway. Ah yes, I adore a bloke with a lovely English accent and especially one who makes movies featuring characters with fetching Cockney accents. Quite simply, Ritchie?s an Anglophile?s wet dream come true.

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Tilda Swinton. (By Kaiser) She?s not really a girl or a guy, honestly, but we can?t really have a ?Hot Alien Friday? can we? She?s a mixture of David Bowie, a cat, and a Rolls Royce, all mixed up in some kind of alien hybrid and we can just enjoy her for what she is: strange and beautiful and our Alien Dessert of the week. And Perfect.

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Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN, domestic & international editions of Vogue, Elle, Vanity Fair, GQ, Details, Esquire, Entertainment Weekly, Google Images.



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