Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The House Fugly

RUMER WILLIS: I am really excited about our new TV show.

TALLULAH WILLIS: Me too. I can?t wait for America to see our heartfelt portrayal of the ups and downs of two young Deadheads. No one has ever done a show like that before! It?s going to be like Mad Men, but with dreadlocks!

RUMER: Oh, I thought we were doing the OTHER show. The drama about the two girls who work at Pier One in 1991, during the height of the� scandal about how they were selling peasant skirts that turned out to be highly flammable.

TALLULAH:� Is that the one you pitched as, ?Singles, with more papa-san chairs??

RUMER: Yes! Imagine the drama inherent as, every week, viewers wonder both if we?re going to catch on fire AND if we?re ever going to get to meet Pearl Jam.

TALLULAH: But the other one gives us more opportunities to twirl around in mud.

RUMER: But THIS ONE means we might get free shit from Pier One. Don?t you want a lifetime supply of scented candles?

TALLULAH: What is wrong with you? Those are dangerous as long as we insist on dressing like this.

RUMER: Touche.



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